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Legal Shenanigans

Welcome to the Warp Legal Page, where we take our legal obligations about as seriously as a time-traveling banana peel on a slippery slope. Before you dive into the complexities of temporal manipulation, there are a few things we need to humorously disclose.

Warp Disclaimer: A Serious Joke

Warp has been extensively tested for its ability to transport you precisely one second into the future. That's right, we’ve nailed it! If you look at your watch, you’ll notice that, indeed, one second has passed since you started reading this. That’s Warp in action, folks! Please note that we do not endorse, encourage, or suggest using Warp for traveling into the past, altering history, or creating paradoxes (unless, of course, you’re a licensed professional in the field of hypothetical quantum mischief).

Time Travel Limitations

Time travel is a tricky business. While Warp makes it look easy, our lawyers (who may or may not be from the future) insist we inform you that using Warp to:

  • Change your middle school math grade
  • Become your own grandparent
  • Prevent the invention of kale chips

...is not only discouraged but also highly likely to result in a stern talking-to by the Time Enforcement Commission (which, let’s be honest, is probably just a bunch of retired time travelers trying to keep busy).

If You Break Time...

We’re not saying it’s impossible to break time, but if you do manage to create a rift in the space-time continuum, just know that it’s your responsibility to clean it up. We suggest using a cosmic dustpan and some quantum glue. No refunds, exchanges, or paradoxes returned. All sales are final (and so is time).

Everything you’ve read here is meant in good fun and should not be taken seriously—just like the time you thought eating an entire pizza by yourself was a great idea. Warp is here to help you explore time, have fun, and, most importantly, not break anything. If you did take this seriously, we recommend stepping away from the time machine and taking a nice, long walk (preferably in a straight line, in a single timeline).

Thanks for visiting the Warp Legal Page! Now go forth, manipulate time (responsibly), and remember: the future is what you make of it. But seriously, don’t try to change the past. Just don’t.

Disclaimer: No actual legal advice or warranty is provided herein. This page is entirely a joke. If you need real legal advice, please consult a lawyer (preferably one not stuck in a time loop).